The Day by Theodore Spencer
The day was a year at first
When children ran in the garden;
The day shrank down to a month
When the boys played ball.
The day was a week thereafter
When young men walked in the garden;
The day was itself a day
When love grew tall.
The day shrank down to an hour
When old men limped in the garden;
The day will last forever
When it is nothing at all.
Theodore Spencer
Poems, 1940-1947
Cambridge, Harvard University Press, 1948.
I know I’m going to regret buying this kit for The Boy. It will probably take ages…
—
Source Credits
Charles Babbage portrait
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Charles_Babbage_-_1860.jpg
Public Domain, via Wikimedia Commons
Difference Engine photograph by Allan J. Cronin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Difference_engine.JPG
Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license, via Wikimedia Commons
Steampunk Background illustration by Valeriana Solaris
http://www.flickr.com/photos/valerianasolaris/4342753605/
Creative Commons License, via Flickr
Charles Babbage signature
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Charles_Babbage_Signature.svg
Public Domain, via Wikimedia Commons
Here’s a new instalment of my ongoing looting of the local bookshop’s awful book covers. This week wasn’t as fun, because I’ve nearly used up all of the good/bad covers, and it was baltic in there – I could see my breath.
(Previous Bad Book Covers: One, Two, Three , Four and Five)
The Incredible Melting Man by Phil Smith
“He is a human time bomb”. I fail to see what is incredible about melting into a fiery skellington. It doesn’t seem to be a superpower, and it definitely doesn’t look like fun. He doesn’t really seem like a time bomb either… unless this started to happen after you had invited him to Christmas dinner and he melted all over your carpet. You just had it cleaned!!
The Universe Against Her by James H Schmitz
Here the book publisher has decided to save money by using one of those awful leaflets the Jehovah’s Witnesses hand out and then getting someone to ‘angry up’ the tiger. Jehovah is not going to be happy.
S.O.S From Three Worlds by Murray Leinster
The distrust between our Super-Medic and his monkey assistant is obvious – this really isn’t going to work out. Also, why doesn’t the monkey-nurse get a space suit? Stupid Galactic NHS cut-backs probably. Curse you future-Cameron!!
The Meteoric Affair by Joseph Tabler
I am assuming that the title is a pun, as we see a man helping his hysterical wife to escape while his mistress follows on behind. Naughty perhaps, but who could blame our ginger-nut protagonist for seeking solace in the arms of one of his own kind?
The Underpeople by Cordwainer Smith
Captain Spaceman sprints down the aisle of the longest urinal ever. When will he find a space? And will he manage to get his space suit off (and his peeing hat on) in time? He’s bursting!
I’m an idiot. I’m not particularly ashamed to admit that, because, after all, I’m in good company – most men are idiots. I’m especially an idiot when it comes to dealing with people in shops.
I don’t like to make a fuss, I don’t like to exchange things, I don’t like to take too long buying something, and I basically just want to get in – purchase – and get out as possible.
I bought a Christmas tree yesterday. It wasn’t a good one.
Let me set the scene for you, with a little history. When I was a little boy, I used to love going to buy the Christmas tree with my dad. It was a bit of proper father-son time, and we used to walk to the green grocers down the lane. He would buy a whopper – a real ceiling scraper – and the ceilings are quite high at my parents’ house, at least 2 feet higher than ours.
So, now that I’m a dad, I love to walk with The Boy to the local green grocers to buy a tree. I buy the tallest one that I think I can get away with, and I am always greeted with slight dismay by my wife when she sees how tall it is. It is proper father-son time.
This year, things went awry. This year I had two children with me, and I also had a graphic design job ongoing – which occupies 25% of my brain for the duration of the project, whether I am sat working at it or not.
So I’m at the shop, harassed and absent minded, trying to get a big tree (but not too big, I’m not a complete idiot) while stopping the kids eating the fruit or running into the road. So eventually I gave up, and asked The Boy to pick one. And here’s where I went wrong. When the grocer asked if I wanted to see if out of its wrapping (and remember how I don’t like to make a fuss in shops) I said no. I wanted a tree, and I wanted to go. Now.
Well, look what happens when you do that.
Oh dear, isn’t it awful. Did you ever see a sadder Christmas tree? The middle of it is devoid of branches. They haven’t snapped off, they were never there. Some of the branches are going north, and some are going south. If it was a family pet, I would have driven it out to the countryside and left it in a lay-by.
As the evening progressed, I sort of learned to love it, but I knew I’d be embarrassed whenever anyone came round. But then I remembered – my parents were coming to visit in a couple of days, and I really didn’t want them to see it.
I don’t mind them knowing that I’ve been made redundant – again. I don’t mind that The Boy will behave badly at the dinner table in front of them. I mostly don’t mind them seeing that the cat has ripped a big hole in the stairs carpet. But I really mind them seeing that I brought home this pitiful excuse for a tree for my family. For Christmas. Just what kind of a husband/father am I?!?! (My parents are lovely, but really, look at it.)
So, today, we showed a picture of the tree to the grocer, and explained that I’d been harassed when I bought it, and asked for a new tree. The Boy (alone) came with me, and looked as good as gold, so the grocer teased me mercilessly – but gave me a new, bigger, healthy looking tree. Job done.
So, men, remember to always check your tree, and remember that commando style shopping doesn’t always work out for the best.
Here’s the new tree – sans decorations as we’re saving that for the boys tomorrow.
Thanks for reading to the end of a rather rambling post brought to you by Sudafed, and a killer cold.
